Imagine for a moment, that you lived your life in a role of a movie. You are the main character, the camera follows you wherever you go. One day, the plot of the movie sees you as the victim of a mugging. Alone and without skills to defend yourself, you call out for help. Who would you rather come to your rescue, Woody Allen or Dwayne “The Rock” Johsnon?

I found myself in need of having a CT Guided Biopsy to get samples of a mass hidden from view in my liver. I was carted to the Intervention Radiology department at the Health Sciences Centre, and before I had time to inquire who would be performing the procedure, Dr. Jeff Mottola kicked down the door and immediately took charge.

Whereas most doctors go through their consent checklist with you; talking about possible complications, what could go wrong, what’s the percentage of chance that something could go wrong… Dr. Mottola’s consent spiel was something completely different*. He took one look at me, and as if to say “no chance in hell anything is going to go wrong”, he spit on the scalpel and went right to work. (Because as we all know when you achieve a level of confidence surpassing that of mere mortals, your saliva is more sterile than antiseptics*, you know… science).

Dr. Mottola is surrounded by an amazing team of technologists and assistants. After what felt like a short period of time, I was carted out back to the waiting room to await transport to my hospital room. Seeing the container with a sample of the tumour, I asked the receptionist if I could have a look at it. She said normally the sample sizes were too small to see, but not this little bastard. He was in plain view. She came closer with the sample and gave me a good look at it. “You son of a bitch” I muttered at it. Placing it back in the bag, she repeated my curse to it “yeah, you son of a bitch…”.

So, to Dr. Mottola (and his amazing staff), let’s just say it isn’t lost on me the fact that you have Clark Kent style glasses. I won’t say a thing, but just know that I’m on to you.

* Disclaimer

I was under quite a bit of pain killers and sedation during most of my stay at the Health Sciences Centre. Some things may have been embellished in my remembering of certain events. Also, all the health care professionals were exactly that, professionals. Proper consent was explained every step of the way.